can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize