never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
