Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
