Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize