I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
