Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
