I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
