thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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