There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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