ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
