I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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