Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
