I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
