I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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