God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
