I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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