you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
