Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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