What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
