i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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