have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
