You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
