I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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