Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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