Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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