i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I look better un-naked...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize