hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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