Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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