Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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