69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
