you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize