Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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