I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That accounts for only three of the penises
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
