I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
