So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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