i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
