Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
