You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Randomize
