Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
