erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize