I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
