You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
