I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
