You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize