well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
