i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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