her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
