I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
