the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's blow job season.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
