I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
