she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
