how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
