Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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