My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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