My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
