i just had sex bonerless
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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