Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
