Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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