We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
